A Matter of Perspective

The past few weeks I’ve been stressing about money. Seriously?!? A minister’s family running short on funds?!! That’s unheard of! Right? Actually, I don’t usually worry about something as insignificant as money (if you saw my bank account you’d agree that it’s definitely insignificant…) Normally, we live within our budget, give to ministries that touch our heart, and still have everything we need. However, this month has been filled with unexpected expenses: spring break gas prices, tri-fest food & rides, Easter outfits & candy, youth fund raisers…the list goes on and on.

I was feeling poor & deprived. Whining ran on a loop through my head: “I wish we had more money.” “Why can’t we be like other families who don’t have to worry about money?” “Look at all these people around me who have more money than they know what to do with…why can’t I have money like that?” Woe is me…I’m so poor…I don’t have anything nice, don’t get to do anything fun… I found my attitude rubbing off on my kids and husband, too. It was bad.

Then I spoke to a wonderful new friend on the phone…a fellow PW in Texas named Josephine. We were getting to know one another, and I asked her to tell me about her passion in ministry. She immediately began to pour out her heart to me about a ministry to PW’s in her home country of the Philippines. She helps lead a retreat/conference for Filipino PW’s every year where about 200 ladies come to be refreshed and encouraged in ministry. One of Jho’s main ministries is in rounding up gifts to give the ladies who attend. They love Jergen’s lotion, hair accessories, simple devotional books & chocolate (some things are universal). One problem that she has run into, though, is that the ladies are hesitant to take any of these gifts if they don’t have anything to also take back to their families. The most requested item is a can of Spam. One can of Spam will make a special meal for their entire family! Her goal this year is that each lady will be able to take home a bottle of lotion, a devotional book and two cans of Spam.

In my bathroom right now I have 5 half-used bottles of lotion of various scents. In my office I have at least 20 devotional books. In my cabinet I have a can of Spam that we bought for a youth group joke. And this weekend I plan to eat a LOT of chocolate. Kind of makes me re-think my bad attitude. I have so much. I serve a heavenly Father who richly provides me with every good thing. There is nothing that I lack. I am rich! It’s all a matter of perspective.

What makes you feel rich?

(For more info about Jho’s Operation Compassion project ministry and how you can get involved, click the link below!)

WINGS video

Thick Skin, Soft Heart (Part 1)

When my husband and I first went into ministry I asked my mother-in-law for some advice. I never pictured myself being a pastor’s wife, but she has been either a PK or a PW her whole life. Her advice to me was to have “thick skin and a soft heart.”

Now, the past year I’ve really been working on that thick skin part, and I’ve been wanting to write about that for a while. But…I’m also working through the various levels of forgiveness and not becoming bitter about all we’ve been through lately. So that will have to wait for another post (hence the “part 1″ part of the title…)

Today I feel like writing about having a soft heart. I naturally have a soft heart. I cry at sentimental movies and Hallmark commercials. I want to pledge to feed all the hungry children when the World Vision ads pop up on my screen. I even divide up the change in my pocket when I go to Wal-Mart during the Christmas season because I can’t stand to walk past the Salvation Army bell ringer without putting something in the bucket. But I never realized how hard it would be to have a soft heart and be in ministry as a PW.

In the last year I’ve sat in hospital waiting rooms with families who’s loved ones are dying, tried to encourage deacons’ wives in the face of a serious cancer diagnosis, watched helplessly as teens graduate and choose the world’s way instead of God’s, cried with a dear friend whose teen son & his girlfriend chose abortion instead of life, and (just this week) was a listening ear for a church lady who woke up one morning to discover her husband had left…maybe for good. I don’t know if my heart can take much more.

My husband is good at compartmentalizing things. He can go running at 2:00, counsel someone in serious need at 3:00, help the girls with math homework at 4:00, meet with other pastors at 5:00, and watch UK basketball at 7:00 and handle all of it without flinching. I, on the other hand, hear of someone in need and it affects everything else I do for the rest of the day…or week. I hurt when others hurt, cry when others cry, and, thankfully, rejoice when others rejoice, too.

It’s so hard to watch people you care about go through difficult things in their lives. But I’m thankful to be able to be a part of bringing God’s truth into their situations and to be able to offer encouragement through it all. It makes me nervous to think that God wants to use me to be His hands and feet, but it’s also a great privilege that I wouldn’t trade for anything! Carrying the burdens of others weighs me down a lot, but I’m learning to give their burdens to Him just like I give my own burdens to Him. And I’m learning to let my heart stay soft because that’s when it’s most able to be used by Him. Plus, it makes me extremely grateful for the life He has given me: good health, stable finances, Christian children, and a loving, godly husband. I thank God more for them every time I see others who don’t have what I do.

So what about you? What burdens are you carrying today? How do you help others through difficult times? How do you keep from getting overwhelmed by the burdens of others? And how do you keep your heart soft?

Why we do what we do

When my girls were little I often got tired of them asking “Why?” every few seconds. But as I grow, I’m learning that sometimes it’s good to ask “Why?” Why do we do what we do?

A few months ago the weather guy was predicting severe storms to hit our area. The were talking about strong winds and possible power outages. We’ve been through long days without power (more on that at another time) so I wanted to be prepared. I found all the flashlights and candles I could, made a batch of brownies, and filled the bathtub with water. Now, we all know why I hunted out the flashlights and candles, and all of you who know me know why I made the brownies (no matter how bad things may be, a brownie always makes it better!) But no one could figure out why I had filled the bathtub full of water…not even myself! I told my friend what I had done to prepare for the storm.

“Why did you do that?” she asked…

“I don’t know. All I know is that’s what my Mama used to do when a storm was coming.”

“But you’re on city water.”

“Um…yeah…so?”

“So you only need to collect water if you have a well that runs on an electric pump.”

“Ohhhhhh.”(I felt so dumb…)

 

But isn’t that how we often do things, especially in ministry? If I had a nickel for every time I heard the phrase “well that’s just the way we’ve always done it” I would be able to fulfill my dream of buying new socks every week instead of washing them. But alas, no nickels, only ruts and traditions that I don’t always understand. So, as we start this new year of life and ministry I’m learning to ask “Why?” Why do we do this? Why do we do it this way or on this day or at this same place every year? Is it because it’s the best or right way or is it just because it’s the way we’ve always done it?

So what ruts do you find yourself in? Why do you do what you do?