I read this on Jon Acuff’s “Stuff Christians Like” blog today and it really hit home. He’s talking about failing again and again…unable to be perfect no matter how hard you try. And since my blog is called “Confessions of a Not So Perfect PW” I knew I had to share it with you.
When I look at photos of me from the past, I see the shadowed figure hiding behind the wall [the person I don’t want to be]. I know he’s elusive. I know he’s tricky. But maybe this time, I’ll be able to get rid of him.
If I write the right thing, maybe he’ll go away. If I say the right thing or read the right book or pray the right thing or talk to the right person, maybe a bullet will finally catch him.
But then I lie again. Then I get fearful again and lash out at somebody. Then I make a mistake. Then I fail again, and the me I don’t want to be flees through the city.
The progress I’ve made, the work I’ve done, the countless blogs I’ve written about how the old is gone and the new has come, feel for naught. He’s loose in the streets, and I feel too weak to keep fighting.
I tell God, “I’m sorry. I thought I had him beat this time. I really did. By now, I shouldn’t doubt you the way I do. I shouldn’t chase after the things I do. If I were a better Christian, I’d stop getting these simple, fundamental things so wrong. I might be the worst Christian ever. I’m sorry I keep messing life up.”
I expect him to give me a speech. A “Pick yourself up and chase him tomorrow. You’ve got to do better next time tiger” after-school-type moment. But that is not what I get. Instead, I get the Bible, and that messes everything up.
Here is what the Bible says about people like me, people who are continually messing up and having an impossible time being perfect:
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it (Paul’s thorn in the flesh) away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
Can we please agree that is ridiculous? We serve a God, who when confronted with our continual weakness replies, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
Have you ever messed up, have you ever stumbled back into a hole you’ve been in 19 times before, and upon hitting the bottom, thought to yourself, “When I fell, I landed on grace, and right now, in this moment, God’s power is being made perfect!”
I haven’t! I am a works-based assassin trying to kill the me I don’t want to be in the city of my life. But what if instead of taking out a gun, what if instead of grabbing a scalpel of effort every time I realize how weak I still am, I grabbed a banner?
A boastful banner like Paul grabbed in 2 Corinthians 12 that read:
“I am still weak! Grace is still sufficient! And God’s power is being made perfect right now!”
That’s where I’m headed in life.
More banners. Less guns.
More grace. Less works.
More boasting. Less hiding.
That’s what I want the banner of my life to be “God’s Grace Is Sufficient! His Power Is Made Perfect In My Weakness!”
To read more check out “Stuff Christians Like“.