Don’t let them in, don’t let them see.
Be the good girl you always have to be.
Conceal don’t feel, don’t let them know.
Ever heard that song (or something like it) running through your head? I call it the Minister’s Wife Mantra. Hiding our true selves in order to be the good ladies we think we’re supposed to be.
The first time I heard this song I was in a movie theater surrounded by several hundred pastor’s wives and women in ministry leadership watching the new Disney movie “Frozen.” There was not a dry eye in the house at that moment because we all identified with Elsa as she pushed down the uniqueness that she was born with and put on the mask of conformity to other people’s expectations.
The expectation to be perfect is overwhelming. We look at our God-given uniqueness and feel like we don’t fit the mold of the perfect pastor’s wife. Maybe we don’t play the piano or lead WMU or make the most delicious dishes for the church potluck. Maybe we prefer Toby Mac over Bill Gaither, can dance better than we sing, and occasionally serve pop tarts for supper.
Where does this idea of the perfect pastor’s wife come from? Who designed this mold that we all feel the need to fit in? It was definitely not God! God created us each uniquely and has called us to use that uniqueness to bring Him glory in the ministries where He has placed us. (Romans 12:3-8)
So, LET IT GO! Let go of the need for perfection! Let go of unrealistic expectations! Embrace who God has made you to be and don’t let anyone try to make you something else!
For me that means I occasionally bring store-bought food to the church potluck, go to Walmart without makeup, or dye my hair blue. (Yes… I really did… :)) And you know what? My church people still love me. God is still pleased with my efforts. And the more I embrace who God made me, the more I witness His power at work in my life.
What do you need to let go of today?